Will the real Santiago please stand up?
Images of Santiago Matamoros (the Moor-slayer) abound along the Camino, whichever route one takes. In the church in Padron, on the Portuguese Camino there is a life-size statue of St. James on his white horse, sword in hand, lashing out at the poor 'infidel' who are looking up at him pleading for their lives.
In 2000 when I walked the French Camino I came across the small church in Villadangos del Páramo shortly after Leon. Just above the tabernacle there is an enormous Matamoros statue. As I sat there one evening I thought of the generations of little boys and girls, dressed in white, kneeling to receive communion on their First Holy Communion Day before what is truly a frightening scene. I wondered if, when they went to bed that night, they had had nightmares on this the day when for the first time they had received the 'sweet sacrament of peace'.
For most of us who have walked the Camino the beautiful statue of Santiago Peregrino (the Pilgrim) with his staff in the one hand and the Bible in the other was truly an inspiration. "How lovely on the mountain are the feet of him who brings good news." But what do we make of Santiago Matamoros? Is there place for him in our spirituality? Is there meaning in this depiction of a dream which King Ramiro I had in 844 during the battle of Clavijo (La Rioja region of Spain) in which he 'heard' Santiago say that he would protect Spain from the hands of 'enemies of the Faith' and that he would go into battle with them against the Moors the next day on a white horse?
I put these questions to a Spanish pilgrim and he merely shrugged his shoulders and said: "Well, it's part of our history. We have to live with it!"
When I heard these words something in me lit up. Yes, it is true. Violence, war and aggression are part of human history and they are also part of my own story too. One can moralise and say that it is evil. One can try to overcome it. But one cannot pretend that it doesn't exist. It is real. So, how do I live with it? How can I deal with the aggression within me?
The psychologist Carl Jung refers to the unacceptable side of ourselves as the Shadow. He says that we only grow as human beings to the extent that we come to integrate this dimension of who we are. He says that 90% of the shadow is gold. If I can begin to listen to all these voices within me (in the words of Desiderata, 'even the dull and ignorant have their story') they will begin to quieten down and the inner battles will subside. Jung says that our inner conflicts occur because of our unwillingness to accept all of our selves: "But what if I should discover that the very enemy is within me, that I myself am the enemy that must be loved --- what then?"
When we are young, of course, we push aside all that is unlovely about us. We want to show our best face. We want to be accepted, approved of, thought well of. But as we grow older we discover the truth expressed by one writer whose name escapes me now (having a senior's moment!) : "I would much rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." Of course, the deeper truth is that I am loveable as I am. We all are!
And so those ones who I called 'no-people-of-mine' begin to find a home in all of me. There is no part of me that is unloveable. If I can get beneath even the wickedest of my desires I can begin to find some truth there. But it does take courage to face our demons. Perhaps this is why it seems that pilgrimage is more suitable to the 50-somethings!
Jung would say that if we don't begin to integrate the shadow we end up projecting what we consider unlovely within on to some external target. This is the origin of scapegoating, stereotying, predjudice, and so on. I begin to see in the other what I don't like in myself and that person or people become my enemy. For Catholic Spain and Portugal in the period leading up to the end of the 15th century, Muslims and Jews were the enemy. The Jews surfaced again as the enemy in Nazi Germany. For a large part of the 20th century communism was the enemy of the West. Freedom-seeking Blacks were the enemy of Apartheid South Africa. And now it seems that we are looking for a new enemy. Will it be Iraq or North Korea or 'terrorism'? The last-mentioned would be more convenient since the less clearly-defined the enemy is the more of our projections it will be able to hold.
Who then is the real St. James? Santiago Matamoros or Santiago Peregrino? We would like to be able to say Peregrino and that Matamoros was simply the figment of a frightened soldier's imagination. But the truth is that he is both. James and John Zebedee in the New Testament are named 'sons of thunder' by Jesus. Now you don't get a nick-name like that without raising a storm or two!
So when next you walk the Camino and you are confronted by these opposing images of Santiago, know that they are both true and they are both part of you! The long, hot Meseta; the overcrowded refugios; the irritating, non-English-speaking pilgrims; the snorers and the incessant talkers will all bring out the Matamoros in you. When that happens remind yourself of the times when you were in touch with the inner Peregrino as you walked along the gentle hills of Navarre, the vineyards of Villafranca del Bierzo, the Galician forests - the times when (to use the words of the athlete in the film 'Chariots of Fire') by walking you 'felt God's pleasure'!
Hold them both, the Peregrino and the Matamoros within. Ever so slowly they will both begin to change. Peregrino will become more passionate; Matamoros more peaceful. And you will shine as bright as the noon-day sun when, of course, you and your shadow are one!
Father Frank de Gouveia
In 2000 when I walked the French Camino I came across the small church in Villadangos del Páramo shortly after Leon. Just above the tabernacle there is an enormous Matamoros statue. As I sat there one evening I thought of the generations of little boys and girls, dressed in white, kneeling to receive communion on their First Holy Communion Day before what is truly a frightening scene. I wondered if, when they went to bed that night, they had had nightmares on this the day when for the first time they had received the 'sweet sacrament of peace'.
For most of us who have walked the Camino the beautiful statue of Santiago Peregrino (the Pilgrim) with his staff in the one hand and the Bible in the other was truly an inspiration. "How lovely on the mountain are the feet of him who brings good news." But what do we make of Santiago Matamoros? Is there place for him in our spirituality? Is there meaning in this depiction of a dream which King Ramiro I had in 844 during the battle of Clavijo (La Rioja region of Spain) in which he 'heard' Santiago say that he would protect Spain from the hands of 'enemies of the Faith' and that he would go into battle with them against the Moors the next day on a white horse?
I put these questions to a Spanish pilgrim and he merely shrugged his shoulders and said: "Well, it's part of our history. We have to live with it!"
When I heard these words something in me lit up. Yes, it is true. Violence, war and aggression are part of human history and they are also part of my own story too. One can moralise and say that it is evil. One can try to overcome it. But one cannot pretend that it doesn't exist. It is real. So, how do I live with it? How can I deal with the aggression within me?
The psychologist Carl Jung refers to the unacceptable side of ourselves as the Shadow. He says that we only grow as human beings to the extent that we come to integrate this dimension of who we are. He says that 90% of the shadow is gold. If I can begin to listen to all these voices within me (in the words of Desiderata, 'even the dull and ignorant have their story') they will begin to quieten down and the inner battles will subside. Jung says that our inner conflicts occur because of our unwillingness to accept all of our selves: "But what if I should discover that the very enemy is within me, that I myself am the enemy that must be loved --- what then?"
When we are young, of course, we push aside all that is unlovely about us. We want to show our best face. We want to be accepted, approved of, thought well of. But as we grow older we discover the truth expressed by one writer whose name escapes me now (having a senior's moment!) : "I would much rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." Of course, the deeper truth is that I am loveable as I am. We all are!
And so those ones who I called 'no-people-of-mine' begin to find a home in all of me. There is no part of me that is unloveable. If I can get beneath even the wickedest of my desires I can begin to find some truth there. But it does take courage to face our demons. Perhaps this is why it seems that pilgrimage is more suitable to the 50-somethings!
Jung would say that if we don't begin to integrate the shadow we end up projecting what we consider unlovely within on to some external target. This is the origin of scapegoating, stereotying, predjudice, and so on. I begin to see in the other what I don't like in myself and that person or people become my enemy. For Catholic Spain and Portugal in the period leading up to the end of the 15th century, Muslims and Jews were the enemy. The Jews surfaced again as the enemy in Nazi Germany. For a large part of the 20th century communism was the enemy of the West. Freedom-seeking Blacks were the enemy of Apartheid South Africa. And now it seems that we are looking for a new enemy. Will it be Iraq or North Korea or 'terrorism'? The last-mentioned would be more convenient since the less clearly-defined the enemy is the more of our projections it will be able to hold.
Who then is the real St. James? Santiago Matamoros or Santiago Peregrino? We would like to be able to say Peregrino and that Matamoros was simply the figment of a frightened soldier's imagination. But the truth is that he is both. James and John Zebedee in the New Testament are named 'sons of thunder' by Jesus. Now you don't get a nick-name like that without raising a storm or two!
So when next you walk the Camino and you are confronted by these opposing images of Santiago, know that they are both true and they are both part of you! The long, hot Meseta; the overcrowded refugios; the irritating, non-English-speaking pilgrims; the snorers and the incessant talkers will all bring out the Matamoros in you. When that happens remind yourself of the times when you were in touch with the inner Peregrino as you walked along the gentle hills of Navarre, the vineyards of Villafranca del Bierzo, the Galician forests - the times when (to use the words of the athlete in the film 'Chariots of Fire') by walking you 'felt God's pleasure'!
Hold them both, the Peregrino and the Matamoros within. Ever so slowly they will both begin to change. Peregrino will become more passionate; Matamoros more peaceful. And you will shine as bright as the noon-day sun when, of course, you and your shadow are one!
Father Frank de Gouveia
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